dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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