woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
