I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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