we made out on top of his cat.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
