he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
