Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
