Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
