I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
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her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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