Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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