the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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