Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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