Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
