For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
