If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
