Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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