Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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