No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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