the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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