he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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