Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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