you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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