You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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