I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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