I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize