everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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