haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
