You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize