those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
