we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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