I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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no you cant smoke seaweed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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