Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
