I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
