she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
