That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
