the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
