She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
