Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
