Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
