Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
