Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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