Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize