Ambien. No doubt about it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
