how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
