She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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