no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
