There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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