The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
