he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
