I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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