i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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