Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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