No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
