you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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