there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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