The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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