is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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